Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have a reading level above third grade

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I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

What do you do to make yourself sleep early?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

How can someone effectively handle a targeted individual?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

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I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Why did my ex replace me so fast?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I can count

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

How do I overcome attachment issues?

I can read

I actually pay taxes

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

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I see through liars

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

What great song was "ruined" once you really listened to the lyrics?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

What was your most memorable combat mission during the Vietnam War?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I have complete contempt for fakery

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

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When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

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I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

What is the Abu Shusha massacre in Palestine?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t buy bullshit

Billy Joel cracking jokes about ‘getting old,’ ‘cremated’ after brain disorder diagnosis, Tribeca doc director shares - New York Post

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Why does my mother care about my sister more than me?

I understand how hurricane paths work

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

What parts of the Bible, if any, are inappropriate to read to children? Why?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t